Dear Friends and Family

If you are reading this Blog entry then you are either friends or family, who already know the Pirate and someday soon will meet the Mermaid. Please read the next paragraphs carefully, because discussions we have had and decisions we have made involving this adoption have already caused breakdowns in communication with our parents.

As we prepare to bring our daughter home, we have learned while decorating her bedroom and filling it with new clothes and fun toys, even more important is her emotional health. In her three and a half years, our daughter will have gone through more changes and life altering experiences than most adults could handle. Imagine how much harder the changes will be for her. While she may not consciously remember the events, she will still experience immense loss, including feelings of grief and trauma.

Think about it…she has already experienced the loss of her birthmother and has been raised in an orphanage. And now, on June 19th, she will take a five hour train ride from that orphanage never to return. Never again to see the ladies who cared for her during the last three years. Never again to experience the sights and smells of the only life she has ever known.

At the end of this train ride, she will be given to strange white people, that don’t even speak the same language as she does. They will take her away from everything and everyone she has ever known…never to return. She will be brought to a strange place where everyone’s face looks different and they all think that because she has her own bedroom full of dresses, dolls, and stuffed animals she will automatically be the happiest little girl on earth.

I know what you are thinking…perhaps she will be the happiest little girl on earth, because now she has a family that loves her and that is better then what she had. I agree…and I hope that is what happens. That could be what happens. However, keep in mind that our daughter will both literally and figuratively have her world turned upside down. She will struggle with feeling safe and secure and she may lack the ability to trust that my wife and I will meet her needs. Although, as I said, we hope for the best, we have planned for the worst. We have read the best books and talked to the best people available to us in preparation to meet her emotional needs so that she does learn that we will always take care of her and we will always keep her safe. We need your support. In order to form a strong and healthy attachment we will allow her to regress so that she has the opportunity to go through all of the emotional stages with us despite her chronological age. Although it may appear that we are spoiling her, we have been advised that it is best that we meet every need quickly and consistently. Until she has learned that we are her parents, we will need to be her primary caretakers at all times. It is essential that we always hold her, feed her, and do all of the nurturing. You may wonder how long this will take, but the timeline is different for every child. We will follow her lead and trust our instincts as her parents rather than worry about what family, friends, or society expects. We have all been waiting anxiously for our daughter to arrive but she has not been waiting for us. She may show her grief and confusion in many ways and we are prepared to help her through it and prove that we are a forever family and this truly is her last stop. We hope…we trust that as our family and friends you will help us to do what is best for our daughter and realize that the things we do and the choices we make are intended only for our daughter’s best interest.

In the coming days we will update this Blog with pictures, videos, and stories about our journey across the planet to get the Mermaid, as well as what happens after we return home and she meets the Pirate. You will be able to see first hand how this goes. And my wife and I welcome your comments, perhaps not to this entry however.

Please keep in mind while on the other side of the planet we will be exactly 12 hours ahead, which means you will be asleep most of our daytime. So, the best thing to do is check this Blog each morning for updates. We thank you in advance for your support and understanding.